so i definitely cried today. i said goodbye to my friends at church knowing that i will probably never see them again. who knew some of these people would have made a mark on my life? i seriously did not. every time i wanted to say goodbye to someone, i broke down. it sucked. i am thankful for the opportunity to have met them during my time here in aggieland. it has been a great four and a half years calling this place home. now it is time to move towards the future and see what lies ahead.

life is not the same anymore. san francisco has made a great impact on my life. it opened my eyes to the world outside of texas. life was different there. maybe it was just the people i was around. maybe it was me. i cannot describe how great of a summer i had. granted there were both positive and negative aspects to it. since i have been back in texas i have pondered whether or not i regretted ever leaving. the answer is truthfully no. i met some of the most amazing people in my entire life. they were just themselves. straight forward. honest. just individuals. college station and san francisco are at two completely opposite extremes. i feel that people here in college station are just so guarded. i mean it sucks not being able to be yourself, would you not agree? i feel that i cannot speak my mind because i will be criticized for everything that i say. i hate seeing things in terms of blue and red, black and white, and so on. i am entitled to my own thoughts right? is it wrong to not agree with something you believe in? it just bothers me when people are not allowed to speak their minds because in the end someone with criticize them for speaking their mind. so just speak your mind and quite frankly do not care what others think of you. basing your life around what others make you out to be is not cool at all. be yourself. you are you. so as for me, i do not care what you think of me. you can judge me by my skin color, the way i talk, what i wear, who i know, or anything else for that matter but i will tell you right now, i will not let your words define who i am. i am me.

san francisco is awesome! the people here are amazing and extremely friendly! at first i was hating this place but it has definitely grown on me. i think i found a church but am not too sure yet. i went to a bible study and the people made me feel so welcomed. i am sad at times just because of the fact that i miss home and just because i do not have family and friends out here. i am so far away from everything and everyone. anyways i will try and suck it up and be content. i live by the bay. nothing beats that right? i work in an amazing park. the sights in san francisco are breath taking. the weather here beats the hot summers in houston. yes i will dwell on that fact. alrighty payce out guys.

do everything without complaining or arguing ... philippians two: fourteen. the first week of school has come to an end and what have i been doing since school started? complaining of course. i also got into an argument with both my brother and mom so that sucks. i really should obey the lord and do just that. anyways upstream was awesome. mad props to the lord for just everything. he is amazing. well that is all i have to say. payce out.

so i guess i'm going to feed someone's addiction by writing an entry. haha. not much has been happening at home. i just bum around the house for the most part doing nothing although i have tons to do like clean my room, sort out clothes i don't wear anymore, pack for school, and get my car fixed. not too happy with the cost of getting new brake pads and fixing the window. argh. oh well there's not much i can do about that. maybe i should be less brake happy and less obsessive compulsive with the car windows and locks? haha. don't ask. anyways i must say that i'm really glad that i got to spend time with two of my friends from high school that i haven't seen in forever. it was good catching up with them and just reflecting on what has been going on in each of our lives. sometimes i ponder about the saying that your college buddies are going to be your life long friends. i don't know if i really believe that because it seems like with every new stage in my life i tend to move on and take what lies ahead for me and leave everything behind. i mean don't get me wrong. i actually want to keep in touch and just meet up with all my friends every now and then but it seems like we all drift apart. i do hope that some of my college buddies would be my life long friends. college friends are the best i must admit. so moving on, i am really psyched about upstream. i am glad one of my fellow brothers that i've met this summer is also going to become a leader. whoop! that totally rocks! the lord is just so awesome! another thing i'm psyched about is the fall crew. my friends here make fun of me and keep on mocking me saying something like can we be part of the fall crew. haha. not cool and not funny. haha. i love the crew and we better hang out in the fall. i know the crew is just going to grow even more so that is going to be awesome. to that pessimistic person: don't believe the lies satan is trying to put into your head! lol. we are going to hang out and you can count on it! haha. i guess that's all i have to say because i better get started with cleaning or something instead of writing in this thing. haha. payce guys!